Wednesday, March 07, 2018

Thirteen!


Alexander Lee Miller. DOB March 7, 2005. 
Loves baseball
Has older brother, sister, and younger sister.
Good sense of humor.
Smart (gifted)

Alicia Marie Miller, DOB March 14, 2004.
Loves to draw.
Older brother, younger brother, younger sister.
Social butterfly.
Tender-hearted.


Thursday, January 11, 2018

The Missing Cap Caper

One of the fears of people as they age are the "old age" diseases:  alzheimers and dementia being two of the most prominent. All the "aging" literature says that some memory loss is inevitable and that sometimes it's just that the synapses are working more slowly.  But unless you are placing your remote in the freezer and your pork chops in your TV table drawer, you're never quite sure if this is the beginning of the end.

So, let us back up just a few days.

Hurricane Irma (another story for another time) is coming upon us. My husband, however, is still faithful about flossing his teeth. He uses those little plastic "sticks" -- and this time he managed to pop off a cap in a front tooth! He looked like a character from Hee Haw (an age related joke).  Obviously we can't contact the dentist during all the hubbub of the hurricane and the aftermath. However, he places the cap in a baggie and leaves it where it can easily be found.

Finally, life seems to be back to normal. He decides that he will take the tooth with him when he heads out to work out.  He will stop by the dentist office on his way home.

He puts the baggie on top of a couple magazines and then picks up his work out clothes. He carries them out to the car after kissing me good-bye. I'm on the sofa, checking my morning Facebook notices.

About two minutes later, he walks in, obviously looking for something.

I can tell he's agitated so I ask him what he's searching for. "I thought I took that cap into the car, but I can't find it," he says. I jump up and look around, too.  We can't find it.

"Oh well," he said and goes back out.

A few hours later he comes back. "Did you find the tooth?" I ask.

"No," he said.  "It's crazy. I can't imagine what happened!"

"Maybe the tooth fairy took it," I joked. (Crickets)

I went out and looked in the car while he searched in the house again, including the garbage cans. I walked across the yard, thinking that if it had fallen out, maybe it blew across the yard.  No luck.

He's really irritated because he says it will cost him $2,000 to have the whole thing replaced. He decides to take a nap before taking me to my 1:00 doctor's appointment.

So at 1:00 we climbed into the car. He's still shaking his head, trying to figure out what happened.  I glanced over in sympathy when ... something caught my eye. A slight gleam of plastic between my seat and the console.  I dipped my hand down and ...

"Guess what I found?" I chirped!

"You're kidding me!" he answered. "I looked there." I thought I had too.  Now I have a happy husband who is so relieved that it changes his whole mood for the day.

We still can't figure out how it slipped off the dashboard (where he placed it) and landed vertically between my seat and the console.

I maintain that the tooth fairy got pissed that it was just a cap and hid it just to give him fits!

By the way, he's going to have to have a new contraption put in anyway, but at least he knows he's not going crazy.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Merry Christmas 2017



Thursday, September 21, 2017

Kids say the darndest things

Alicia: (doing math):  I have to have an open array!
Me: Huh?  All we did was convert to an improper fraction, multiply, then convert back to a mixed number.
Alicia:  Yeah.  I know what that's called.  It's a traditional algorithm.

Me:  (crickets) ...


***


Alex sneezed and I said, "Gesundheit!" He thought I said, "Shoes and tie."



----------
The other day, I was quoting Vincent (when he was young) saying, "I'm changing schools like a hermit crab changes shells," and Alex thought I said, "...like Democrats are changing shelves." He was wondering why Democrats had to change shelves!



----------
"So what's your words of wisdom today?"
April: "I don't have any words of wisdom, but I do have words of whizz!" (She had to go to the bathroom)



-------------
Paul sees Jane standing by herself outside.
Paul: What are you doing?
Jane: I'm in jail.
Paul: Why are you in jail?
Jane: Because I stole onions.
Paul: Why did you steal onions?
Jane: To keep people away from me!



-------------
Me: Tomorrow is Friday the 13th.
April: (shrugs)
Me: it means bad luck.
April: is it because it's my birthday?
Me: No.
April: Is it because I'm the Queen of Terror?



*****

Took the granddaughters to dinner at Outback.  Here are some gems from the night:

........
The wait staff was passing out samples of calamari and Alicia asked me what it was.  I told her it was squid.  Jane looked up and said, "Is it dead?"
.........
Alicia accused April of "tooting" in her face.  April denied it.  Alicia ran down the walk about 10 feet and said, "It smells worse over here!"  So she turned around and ran in the other direction.  "I can still smell it," she said.  April's comment:  "You're being followed by the cloud of death."
...........
The girls decided to call the "Boppataxi" to take us home.  Paul asked Alicia if it was the Tijuana Taxi.  She said, "What?" He said, "Tijuana Taxi."  She said, "Yes, I wanna taxi!"

We overtipped the waitress! :-)


*****
Yesterday after I helped April with her math, I said, "Math can be kinda fun, huh?"  She answered, "Yeah, but not as fun as reading."



*****

Me:  What do you want for breakfast?
April:  4 sausages and 9 pancakes.
Me:  I don't think you can eat 9 pancakes.
April:  Okay.  Make me one pancake and cut it in nine pieces.



*****
Today April came running up to tell me that she and Alicia had touched the tortoise's shell.  I said, "But the signs say don't bother the tortoises."  She paused for a moment, then said, "Yeah ... but he didn't mind."


*****
When I told Jane I saw a pink bird, she asked, “Was it a tablespoon?” (roseate spoonbill)


*****

Today April (5 years old) told me she wanted to be a cop.  When I asked her why, her response was "I'm a prodigy. So I'll be a cop." At least she didn't say princess or actress.


*****

Yesterday, April and I were playing oversized badminton,when she stopped and said, "That's why I like playing with you.  You're so joyful!"



*****
Alex's last baseball game of the season. They won 7-6. While we were there, I bought fries for the girls to share. At the end of the game, Alicia came up to me whining. "I only got one fry. April got the rest." April turns to me, opens her eyes wide, and says, "Whoops!"





*****


When his mother asked him if something was dirty, this guy ran his finger over it and then declared, "Nope. It's clean as a rhino."

*****


This little girl saw a picture of our 16th president on the wall of my library, pointed to it and said, "Hey, look! It's Hammerhead Lincoln!"I

*****

When this guy found out his mom and dad were hosting Thanksgiving, he was worried. "Where are they all going to park?"

His mom said, "They can park on the driveway or the street, or if they have to, they can park in the yard."

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "That's an awful lot of work," he replied.

*****

Alex told Alicia that Daddy had already left for work and she missed him. Alicia - "Daddy came in and gave me a kiss while I was sleeping"... Alex- "How do you know if you were sleeping?" Alicia- "I was sleeping, but my ears were on."



*****

Jane likes to say, with fist clenched, "give 'em a piece of your mind". It's from the "Expert" video her daddy plays for her.


****

April: Would you play some music? (in the car)
Paul moves as if to power the music on.
April: Not YOUR music, Boppa! It's too soothing!





*****

So my son Jeff was unpacking groceries and April (22 months) wanted to help. So he gave her a 9 pack of toilet paper and told her to put it next to the toilet. Next thing he hears her tell him something was stuck. He walked in, and she had put the whole 9 pack in the toilet and had tried to close the lid. Guess she needs to learn her prepositions! lol!




*****
"One day my voice WILL change. But now I sound like a little pip squeak mouse."~ April





*****


Me: April, put your stuff in your backpack. 
April: I'm going to color.
Me: Did you hear me
April: yeah. Blah blah blah.





*****


April had this subtraction problem for homework.
Susie had 5 radishes. She ate 3. How many does she have left?
April's answer: "I don't like radishes."  






*****
Alex: Where do sick animals go?
His answer: To the "farm"acy!


***** 

Me: coughing.
April: Are you okay?
Me: Yes. (Pause). Are you going to take care of me when I'm old?
April: You ARE old!

Reality bites.


*****

One spring break, my mother and I took the grandsons to the Marianna Caverns in north Florida.  As we were walking through the parking lot, we saw a solitary sneaker sitting on top of the rock.  The boys immediately began calling it the "Legendary Shoe", and did this:


*****

April tooted rather loudly on our way home from school. After we got into the house, I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom.

April: No. 
Me: I thought you might need to because you tooted so loudly in the car.
April: No, I just fart randomly.



*****

Neighborhood girl's mother called across to her.
April: "What'd she say?"
Me: "I think she said that her toaster strudel was ready. Isn't that what she said?"
April: "I don't know. I'm not a mastermind."


*****

"I'm making this a time travel box so you can HURRY UP WITH MY FOOD!"~Jacob


*****

Alex had gotten a little car at McDonald's, and a part snapped off. I told him I could fix it when we got home. It took me all of 10 seconds to figure out what to do. So when I finished I said to him, "I'm a genius!" and he responded, quite somberly, "Because you're a librarian." LOL


*****
Jane was telling me that they watched a video about recycling and repurposing in class. She said "One lady made a vase, but she called it a 'vahz'." Then she giggled and said, "Like the Wizard of 'Vahz."


*****
So today April was telling me a story about Jeff, and she said, "So Daddy, also known as your son..."




*****
April drawing shapes.
Nee Nee: Can you draw a rhombus?
April: No.
Boppa: Can you draw a Remus (pun on Romulus)
April: No.

Nee Nee: Tell Boppa you're just pulling my leg now.

April: Boppa, you're just pulling Nee Nee's leg now.


*****
The boys discovered a new tongue twister. We were talking about why Canadian geese were called Canadian when they were in America. I told them (jokingly) they were now called "immigrant geese." They then challenged each other to say "immigrant geese" real fast 3 times.


***

One day after April went potty in our toilet, Paul told her not to flush. She stood outside the door as Paul went on to relieve himself in the same toilet. When he came out, April looked up to him and asked, "Why you pee on my pee?"


***





Monday, August 07, 2017

Burn! Jane lights the flame.


This is Jane.  She is six.  On this night we were celebrating her brother Vincent's 10th birthday at a restaurant in Sarasota.  Her dad was trying to get her to eat (she ordered salmon and buttered noodles). She was giving him a hard time.

"You're not my real father!" she yells (he was at the other end of the table).
We all start chuckling.
"God is my father!" she says, pointing to the ceiling.
After some more back and forth, she let loose with this burn:

"God is always with me, unlike you, because you're always leaving me!" (Her dad does wrestling and MMA announcing and often travels).

The whole table gasped and broke out in "Oooooh, burn!" I guess her dad needed some salve after that!

(I'll confess, one of my first thoughts is ... "That's what happens when you send your kids to a Baptist day care!")

Saturday, May 20, 2017

More photos of grandkid fun


Jacob and me at Universal.





The girls' cheerleading squad



April loves her big brother.



After the hair cut.



Jane thanks God for her dessert!



Vincent eats a cannoli.




April found a painted rock!




Vincent takes a nap.



Jane fakes a play at t-ball.




April eats lemon cake after a hair cut.




Cool hand Jake.



After picking blueberries.

Proud moments

Alex hits his first home run on our 24th anniversary!

Vincent is chosen for safety patrol.



Alex science award - 7th grade

Alicia's 8th grade graduation

Alicia induction into National Junior Honor Society

April doing her student led conference

Jacob - 5th grade graduation

Jacob, Enterprise Village

Jacob (blue blur) scoring a TD in flag football.

Jane, art award, first grade

Jane eating all this cheesesteak all by herself

Jane getting her library card

Jane winning Commitment to Character for self-motivation

Vincent DJing at Enterprise Village

Vincent Commitment to Character award for Respect